Not a lot is happening outside my head. Inside: big thoughts.
I am trying to think more thoughts: big thoughts, mostly; thoughts of depth and substance. I feel like my brain is out of the habit of being active and profound and attempting brilliance on a daily basis, so I’m making an effort.
Because I am smart. I am. I did well in high school (would have graduated higher in my class, but for that month of mono and appendicitis), got into a prestigious programme amongst some of the top scholars in the country, and I did well, scoring A’s on most papers. Most of my classmates are well and truly possessed of genius, but I am no dumbey. But I feel like one.
For the past year, I have fought Chronic Fatigue – which has, frankly, SUCKED – and I have taught dance classes – fun, rewarding, but not intellectually stimulating – and I have sewn dresses – ibid. And now, now that I am feeling well and healthy (HA! I was out of bed at 7:30! Not 11!!!) I am really, very dissatisfied with the state of my life.
Where is my art? Where are my thoughts? What have I done with my brain?!
In the interest of preserving what brainiac power I have remaining, I am going to try to read and to discern and to write more. It may end up here, on the blog, or maybe I should start a new blog, I don’t know. But I feel strongly that I have this brain, it was a gift, a blessing, and one I worked and studied hard to develop, and I will be damned if I just let it go to waste! No, sir, my brain and I are going to start kicking asses and taking names!