Things are fine, things are good, I enjoy my job and having a steady pay cheque and making plans and all that, but I’m listening to my online radio, and Feist comes on, and: she’s really fantastic!! She’s so good at what she does, and gets to spend her time doing precisely that: what she loves. I manage a database, for crying out loud.
How, how did it come to this? I feel like a fecking sell-out. I work for a very liberal, very progressive charity, so at least I agree with their policies and the fact that their faith-based is a daily boon to me, but it doesn’t change the fact that I haven’t really sung a note in over a month. A month. And my studies? They’re all but forgotten, though, at least, I have tried to get a supervisor for that damned honours paper to finish my undergrad degree. No takers, no luck, no go. Ugh.
I just feel…unbalanced: not in the sense the phrase is so often used, to imply mental or emotional illness, but like my actions and my plans and my desires are not adding up, not balancing out in the long run, or even the short run, for that matter. And it leaves me feeling very much as though I’ve forgotten to do something, the way I feel when I know I’ve left something home which I will need on a long trip, but there is no way to go back and retrieve it.
Also, I have a fruit fly flitting around my cubicle, and it’s really pissing me off.
Let’s lighten up, a bit, with…pivot turns!! My absolute, favourite thing to do when dancing. Here we go:
Truth be told, I feel better. The difference a little propelled pivot turn can make!